Yes. 5:30 am. If there’s one thing I am not fond of is being awake when I could be sleeping. So lets cut to the chase. “Why are you up so early, Liz?” Oh just wanted to get up early and see what the rest of the world is doing at 5:30 a.m. (insert laugh track). I woke up to a full on bug take-over on my bed and BODY. Talking about it is making me creep out right now!
The passed couple of days I’ve slept with the light on. It’s just until I’m comfortable with the room. Every night I usually wake up to turn over and I’ll turn the light off and go back to bed. I did this last night. I think at about midnight. (deep breath) Later that night, I woke up to the feeling of something cool on my arm. I felt it with my other hand! IT wasn’t my arm. It was…a UFO! An unidentified foreign object. I grab whatever is on my arm and throw it down on the floor! I shuffle to turn on a light only to find a cockroach. STUPID COCKROACH!! (best Brooklyn accent) “I get no respect around here!” No time for theatrics. I turn to get out of bed and grab my gun (shoe). I freeze. Mr. Cockroach brought a friend. A green…tear drop of a body with loooong almost invisible, needle like legs and wispy antennae. He’s perched on one of my zip-locks with documents inside. I reason with myself. Should I smoosh the bug on the bag? Or sweep it off the bag and leave no mess to clean up on my stuff? I didn’t have time for rationalizing. The cockroach was still on the loose. In one, clean downward Splat! I take down the green monster! He struggles to get up! I strike one final blow! He’s dead. I sweep him off the bed. My inner dialogue at this point was something like, “phew, at least you don’t have any bugs on your bed anymore! You can relax Liz.” I couldn’t. As long as I knew the cockroach could crawl back up on to my bed. I had to get him. So I grab my second weapon of choice, tear gas(bug spray) and begin moving around my bed slowly. No sign of the enemy. I was restless. I was determined. I looked under the bed. But couldn’t spot him. Finally when it seemed like I had been taken for a fool. I moved a bag sitting next to the night. There he was playing dead. He didn’t move. I got in close enough where I could douse him with the bug spray. He scurried around disoriented. I sprayed again. He ran to the other side of the bed. I ran to the other side of the bed. He didn’t make it over. Then as I turn to go back to my side of the bed, he makes a drunken dash from under the bed. This time I was ready to seal the deal. I sprayed him one last time until he couldn’t breathe, then I stepped on him. It was finished. I take in a sigh of relief but I couldn’t relax enough to lie down. So here I am 30 minutes later writing this ridiculous blog when my eyes are stinging for sweet R.E.M. The sun is dawning. I may have another 30 minutes at the most before I have to get up for class. I’m annoyed.
